As I was walking across a street with my 11 year old daughter, we were in the crosswalk and a car was approaching. Being unsure if the car was going to yield, I grabbed her hand to stop her from walking in front of the car. The person did stop to let us cross and my daughter said to me, “Dad we are in the crosswalk, we have the right of way!” I said, “I know we do honey, but you have to be aware in case they don’t stop for us”. Her response to me was, “Well if they hit me they will be in big trouble”. I said, “Or you will be dead, then where did your right of way get you?” We went back and forth a bit and I finally gave up and we moved on with our fun. This sense of entitlement not only really got me thinking about her safety, but people’s sense of entitlement in general.
If I were to have this same conversation with some adults, I believe I would get the same response as I did from my daughter. Take a ride through a store’s parking lot. There will be people pushing carts right down the drive lane with no regard to vehicles. Their thought process is, “you can’t hit me, I have the right of way”. Um, yes I CAN hit you and no doubt WILL be in trouble with the law and more than likely be sued. But was that thinking error worth the person’s injury or possibly even their death? The problem is, with adults this sense of entitlement is far larger than crossing the streets or parking lots.
So what does it mean to have a sense of entitlement? The dictionary defines it as “the belief that one inherently deserves privileges or special treatment.” It seems in today’s society this belief system is becoming the norm and socially acceptable. Are the days gone where if we wanted something we worked for it? If it’s not “fair” do we just pack it up and quit or worse yet stand there with an outstretched hand waiting for someone to make it fair?
I have seen firsthand so many examples of this sense of entitlement that it completely boggles my mind. From young adults who get out of college fully expecting to do as little as possible for the wages of a 20 year veteran in the work force, or a person who chooses to have little to no income and expect the state or another person to share the wealth to take care of them and create a better lifestyle for them. I completely understand there are situations where people need assistance and I am thankful we have systems in place for those people. These should be considered hand ups not handouts. But the folks who have the capabilities to work and earn but lack the desire is where I see things are broken not only in government but in our society in general. What these people are missing is if they work hard, if they work smart, they will reap the benefits of other people that do that same. You can’t stand with a hand out and expect it to come to you without effort. Some people definitely get what they want from handouts such as a lottery win or inheritance but having not worked for it I have to think it doesn’t mean as much and would be much more disposable.
I have yet to see a bodybuilder go to a gym, sit around, suck down protein powder and supplements and get huge and ripped without moving a single weight. We know of course this doesn’t work. Why? They didn’t do the necessary work. They didn’t work out day after day, rep after rep like a successful bodybuilder does. They just sat there waiting and nothing happened but disappointment. In most things in life we get out exactly what we put in. We reap what we sow and have to work for what we truly want in life.
It makes me sad and frustrated that there are actually laws in place that support this thought process of equality without regard to the work someone does. I don’t understand when this shifted. I was taught from a young age that life isn’t fair. It never will be fair. When someone tells me life isn’t fair, I ask them compared to what? The great equalizer is putting in the work and effort to make it fair. This is what has been lost in many situations. I am by no means referring to racial equality, or equality between men and women in regard to wages, jobs or anything else. All people on this planet are equal and should be treated that way. However should a person who sits home all day doing nothing by their choice have the same wages and benefits as someone who works 40 hours a week year after year? My thought is, get off your ass and do something about your situation, don’t stick your hand out and say I need your money. The problem is, our society seems to allow this if not promote it at times and it seems to be getting worse.
I definitely don’t have the answer for this but I do what I can to ensure myself, my daughter and people in my circle don’t fall into this way of thinking. When my daughter tells me while playing Monopoly if she runs out of money I just have to give her some of mine or she doesn’t need to practice because she will still get a trophy, I know I have some work to do. Every time a teaching moment comes up such as that one, I take the opportunity to explain work ethic and more importantly working smart. That it isn’t normal in life to sit and wait for good things to come your way. You need to get up and make them happen to ensure you get what you want out of life. It is no doubt an uphill battle, but it is a battle I take on not only for the good of her future, but society in general.
We need to stop living in the hand out, participation trophy world and start living in the I work for what I want world. The world where sometimes we win and sometimes, yes I will say it, we actually lose. If more people learned how to lose gracefully I think things could change. It is up to us as individuals to make life fair in our little worlds. We need to teach our kids that hard work matters and they will see the benefit of it whether it is in athletics, academics or the work force. The sense of entitlement has to stop and be replaced with a sense of accomplishment.