Blog - Mind and Body 4U

Two Stories One Life

As a child, I went to six different schools in seven years. What a drag having to always switch schools and never develop lasting friendships. I grew up without a solid father figure in my life. That left a huge emotional hole in my heart with only one parent. I wasn’t taught about the fundamentals of money, saving or investing which prevented me from building wealth at a young age. When I think about those days it is hard to not feel sorry for myself.

As a child, I went to six different schools in seven years. What an amazing experience to have lived in different places and to have learned how to meet and interact with new people. I grew up without a solid father figure in my life. I appreciated how one parent can really fill that void and made it normal for me. I wasn’t taught about the fundamentals of money, saving or investing, but I was taught how hard work and determination and not expecting handouts will pay off in the long run. When I think about those days it is hard to not feel very lucky.

Two stories about the exact same scenarios with a completely different outlook. I have told those stories to many people throughout the years. How I spin them is completely up to me. I lived each one of the stories in my life, however when you are in the story you can’t really see it. The problem is the stories we tell ourselves influence every aspect of our lives. We identify with them, we become them, and some people may judge us by them.

So a story that seemed to fit years ago may no longer reflect who we really are today. We can re-frame that story and give it a different meaning to us. Feeling sorry for myself for what I referred to as a gypsy childhood no longer serves me. I can’t change the story, shit happens, but what I can do is take away more positive pieces that have made me who I am today and embrace what may or may not have been screwed up.

So maybe your story isn’t all that glorious but it did make you who you are today. Take a look back at the stories and events in your life and see how they serve your current self. You may surprise yourself and realize it wasn’t all that bad and there were many good things that came of it.

I would love to hear some of your stories and how you used to think about them and how they now fit you today. I look forward to your comments…

Entitlement

As I was walking across a street with my 11 year old daughter, we were in the crosswalk and a car was approaching. Being unsure if the car was going to yield, I grabbed her hand to stop her from walking in front of the car. The person did stop to let us cross and my daughter said to me, “Dad we are in the crosswalk, we have the right of way!” I said, “I know we do honey, but you have to be aware in case they don’t stop for us”. Her response to me was, “Well if they hit me they will be in big trouble”. I said, “Or you will be dead, then where did your right of way get you?” We went back and forth a bit and I finally gave up and we moved on with our fun. This sense of entitlement not only really got me thinking about her safety, but people’s sense of entitlement in general.

If I were to have this same conversation with some adults, I believe I would get the same response as I did from my daughter. Take a ride through a store’s parking lot. There will be people pushing carts right down the drive lane with no regard to vehicles. Their thought process is, “you can’t hit me, I have the right of way”. Um, yes I CAN hit you and no doubt WILL be in trouble with the law and more than likely be sued. But was that thinking error worth the person’s injury or possibly even their death? The problem is, with adults this sense of entitlement is far larger than crossing the streets or parking lots.

So what does it mean to have a sense of entitlement? The dictionary defines it as “the belief that one inherently deserves privileges or special treatment.” It seems in today’s society this belief system is becoming the norm and socially acceptable. Are the days gone where if we wanted something we worked for it? If it’s not “fair” do we just pack it up and quit or worse yet stand there with an outstretched hand waiting for someone to make it fair?

I have seen firsthand so many examples of this sense of entitlement that it completely boggles my mind. From young adults who get out of college fully expecting to do as little as possible for the wages of a 20 year veteran in the work force, or a person who chooses to have little to no income and expect the state or another person to share the wealth to take care of them and create a better lifestyle for them. I completely understand there are situations where people need assistance and I am thankful we have systems in place for those people. These should be considered hand ups not handouts. But the folks who have the capabilities to work and earn but lack the desire is where I see things are broken not only in government but in our society in general. What these people are missing is if they work hard, if they work smart, they will reap the benefits of other people that do that same. You can’t stand with a hand out and expect it to come to you without effort. Some people definitely get what they want from handouts such as a lottery win or inheritance but having not worked for it I have to think it doesn’t mean as much and would be much more disposable.

I have yet to see a bodybuilder go to a gym, sit around, suck down protein powder and supplements and get huge and ripped without moving a single weight. We know of course this doesn’t work. Why? They didn’t do the necessary work. They didn’t work out day after day, rep after rep like a successful bodybuilder does. They just sat there waiting and nothing happened but disappointment. In most things in life we get out exactly what we put in. We reap what we sow and have to work for what we truly want in life.

It makes me sad and frustrated that there are actually laws in place that support this thought process of equality without regard to the work someone does. I don’t understand when this shifted. I was taught from a young age that life isn’t fair. It never will be fair. When someone tells me life isn’t fair, I ask them compared to what? The great equalizer is putting in the work and effort to make it fair. This is what has been lost in many situations. I am by no means referring to racial equality, or equality between men and women in regard to wages, jobs or anything else. All people on this planet are equal and should be treated that way. However should a person who sits home all day doing nothing by their choice have the same wages and benefits as someone who works 40 hours a week year after year? My thought is, get off your ass and do something about your situation, don’t stick your hand out and say I need your money. The problem is, our society seems to allow this if not promote it at times and it seems to be getting worse.

I definitely don’t have the answer for this but I do what I can to ensure myself, my daughter and people in my circle don’t fall into this way of thinking. When my daughter tells me while playing Monopoly if she runs out of money I just have to give her some of mine or she doesn’t need to practice because she will still get a trophy, I know I have some work to do. Every time a teaching moment comes up such as that one, I take the opportunity to explain work ethic and more importantly working smart. That it isn’t normal in life to sit and wait for good things to come your way. You need to get up and make them happen to ensure you get what you want out of life. It is no doubt an uphill battle, but it is a battle I take on not only for the good of her future, but society in general.

We need to stop living in the hand out, participation trophy world and start living in the I work for what I want world. The world where sometimes we win and sometimes, yes I will say it, we actually lose. If more people learned how to lose gracefully I think things could change. It is up to us as individuals to make life fair in our little worlds. We need to teach our kids that hard work matters and they will see the benefit of it whether it is in athletics, academics or the work force. The sense of entitlement has to stop and be replaced with a sense of accomplishment.

Different Views

I was recently at a friend’s home and noticed an old garage on her property. I immediately saw an awesome photo opportunity. After taking the photo I played around with it a bit and settled on a black and white version. I clearly saw it as a piece of artwork. I sent the photo to my friend and she said to take the garage home and I could have the old wreck. We laughed about it and that was it. I thought how could she not see the beauty in it? We viewed the same exact object in two completely different ways. That got me thinking about how different people see the world and everything in it in such different ways.

We all tend to get set in our own views and opinions. The key is to remember nobody’s vision is right or wrong, just different. I know I get very set in the way I view things at certain times, and I look at other people like they are nuts when they don’t see it my way. Although I am learning to take a step back and observe from other people’s point of view that is not an easy thing for me to do all the time.

We see the world from the inside out. If we could focus on things from the outside in I am sure it would change our view. That is a difficult thing to comprehend and put into practice. What seems stupid, ugly or insignificant to me, may be the smartest, most beautiful and most important thing to you. If we really want a different view from our own, have a conversation with a child. Children seem to have a perspective on things that an adult doesn’t even think of. Children have not been influenced by the world yet and see things for what they are for the most part. As the great Wayne Dyer puts it, “children haven’t been de-genioused by the world”. Many times in conversation with my daughter, her perspective on things really gets me thinking and makes me realize my outlook has been influenced by the outside world and in many ways negatively. The innocence and simplicity in their thought process is something we could all learn from.

The next time my wife Sherry and I were getting ready to visit Julie she asked me if I could bring her an 8×10 photo of that old garage on her property. I didn’t ask why and said absolutely. I also did chuckle to myself and thought she saw a different point of view and now it is artwork to her also. At that moment I was inspired to write this.

I feel we all need to take some time and see things from different points of views and opinions. It just may change our vision for our own life and the lives of those around us. I wish we could re-capture that child-like innocence and see things for what they are or what they could be and not what we think they should be or what they are not. Whether we change our humanitarian views, political views, social views or maybe just the view of an old run down garage, we will expand our vision for ourselves and in doing so put other’s views before our own making everyone’s opinion matter. Imagine a world like that…..

Create Your Own Luck

You walk outside your home, glance to your neighbor’s large fancy house with a Mercedes sitting in the driveway and say, “wow they are lucky”. Well unless they inherited money or won the lottery, that isn’t luck. That is called hard work and dedication. If you didn’t walk out of your house and say that, and haven’t won the lottery or inherited a bunch of money, then you know what I am talking about.

Too many people have the mindset that because people have nice things they are lucky. Maybe in a sense they are, but it probably had nothing to do with luck itself. Meeting that one person that gives you that big break and helps or mentors you to success isn’t luck at all. That is being aware of opportunities presented to you or creating an opportunity yourself to meet that person. It then comes down to what you do with that opportunity. I have squandered many of those opportunities in my life that came along because I didn’t recognize them or didn’t have the drive and dedication to pursue them. I am sure we have all done it.

I see so many young people in today’s society that are waiting for their big lucky opportunity to come along. I hate to tell them but that could be a long wait. We need to get out there and create our opportunities for great things whether that is stuff, a job or knowledge. Going after those things pro-actively puts destiny back in your own hands instead of waiting for luck to strike.

A fisherman never caught a fish sitting on the bank of a river without actively baiting a hook, and repeatedly casting said hook into the water of opportunity. You may catch a bunch of little ones, or you just might land that big one. You may not catch a damn thing. This is where the rubber meets the road. Are you going to quit if you don’t succeed at first and bank on luck that a fish will jump into your arms? No you keep trying in the same spot, or you move to another spot if you want to control your “fishing” destiny. A Chinese proverb says, “Fall down seven times, stand up eight”. I think many people forget that last step because it is hard. At times, I have definitely been in that category.

So how do we create our own so-called luck? For starters, we get off our ass and do something about it. We need to dedicate ourselves to what we want to accomplish. If we want to be successful at our jobs we need to be the expert in our field. If we want to start our own business we dedicate our time to building that business to someday reap the rewards that independence can bring. If it’s education, we find the right classes or books and we soak in the knowledge we desire. We need to surround ourselves with likeminded people that bring positive influence to us to be who we truly want to be. None of this is just luck.

So instead of sitting around waiting for luck to give us our “Mercedes” in life, let’s create our own luck and control when and how many we get. If there is one thing I have learned in life it is that very seldom something is handed to us and when it is, it isn’t usually all that worthwhile. If you want it, work for it. It means so much more. If you work for a million dollars, I can guarantee you will not spend it foolishly. If you win a million dollars in the lottery, statistics show because it came easy, it will be gone in no time unless you are extremely disciplined.

So do you want to be lucky or do you want to go get what you want with hard work and dedication? Ultimately, that is a choice we all have to make. Me, I’m not waiting for luck to reward me. I am rewarding myself everyday with what I do and the people I surround myself with. It makes it all so much more meaningful. So are you going to sit and wait to see if lady luck shines on you? The clock never stops ticking. The time is now to go get what you want in life and enjoy it.

Taking Care of Your “Vehicle”

Whomever has ever purchased a nice vehicle whether it was new or used knows what it is like to want to take care of it. You keep it clean inside and out, you maintain it with regular oil changes, and probably wash it and wax it regularly. After all, who wouldn’t want to spend a little time taking care of it after all of the money you spent on it. You more than likely worked very hard for that money as well. It all makes perfect sense.

So tell me why we don’t have this same attitude with our bodies? After all, it is our “vehicle” to roam this planet. We may not have spent money on it, however it is priceless isn’t it? Without it, we are not going far. Our bodies cannot be replaced when they get wrecked like a vehicle. Yes we have insurance on both but no replacement guarantees on our bodies. We put premium gasoline in our vehicles to make the engine run better, we use top brand oils to make our engines last longer, yet we smoke cigarettes, do drugs, pour alcohol into our bodies and eat foods certain to cause havoc in the long run. That doesn’t make our body run well or last longer. It makes no sense yet we all do it or have done it at one time or another.

We have all probably had a vehicle break down on us. Anything from a flat tire to a blown engine or maybe an accident where it was totaled out and scrapped. At any rate, we were able to repair or replace it and move on. We depend on our vehicles to get us from point A to point B. For some reason we take our bodies for granted more than we do our cars. Maybe it is because we have never had something fail in our body which made us more aware of how we treat it. Unfortunately for many people, it takes an event like that to finally realize we are abusing or not taking care of our bodies like we should. For some people this moment never comes and before they know it time is up and it’s too late.

So what do we do to take care of ourselves like we should now? By no means is it easy to get started if we haven’t created the habit. First we need to be in the right frame of mind to do something about it and make a change. Every journey starts with a single step including this life long one. Sometimes it is the smallest change in diet or exercise that will spark something in us to continue to make larger changes. It can be a much larger leap like eliminating junk food, deciding to quit smoking or drinking or beginning an exercise program. However we decide to do it doesn’t matter as much as just taking that first step. If we stick with it, the rest takes care of itself.

I see people who are in their golden years and I can almost tell who took care of themselves and who didn’t. It makes me wonder what life will be like for me in 20 years. Do I want to be walking with a cane, over weight, hunched over shuffling around? No way! I want to be on the golf course, out walking or jogging being active enjoying myself and not having to watch other people have the fun because I am physically restricted or exhausted. If we really think about our future selves having such a restricted life it is sobering. We have one body and we need to take care of it and that has to start now. Not tomorrow, not next week, it has to happen today.

So we need to decide, do we want to be a broken down rusted out heap of junk ready for the scrap yard, or do we want to be a high performance sports car always ready for the next adventure. The choice is ours every day. Let’s keep our future self in mind and take care of our “vehicle” for as long as we have the privilege to walk this planet. Love your body like your new car, take care of it, respect it, and give it the attention it deserves. A little effort now can make a big difference in our future..

My Keto Journey

I just dove head first in the Ketogenic Diet, or should I say lifestyle. I don’t like the word diet, it sounds so restricting. I have researched and read countless articles on Paleo, Mediterranean, Atkins, and of course the Ketogenic. The hardest to maintain, but most effective at fat loss is the ketogenic in my opinion, so that is what I have chosen.

I won’t get into the particulars of the diet, you can get information about it online or a good book is The Complete Ketogenic Diet for Beginners. The basic premise is you are eating the majority of calories from saturated “good” fats, moderate protein and extremely little to no carbs. WHAT?!? No bread, pasta or potatoes? Yes that’s right! Nobody said this was going to be easy. I LOVE carbs!

So how to start, cut carbs cold turkey or gradual elimination? I tried cold turkey and I don’t think anyone liked me much. I fell off the wagon quickly. So I drastically reduced but didn’t eliminate them. I was down to 100 grams of carbs per day. To count macros, Lose It is a great app, check it out! After about a week at 100 grams, I dialed it in to about 30 and below most days. I have been here for about 2 weeks. My headaches are gone, my cravings are gone for the most part, and I don’t feel bloated. I have to learn to drink more water as keto has a tendency to dehydrate me.

I eat pizza and burgers. I scrape the “pizza” off the crust and I pitch the hamburger buns. It is working for me. In this short time have I missed fries, pasta and the occasional candy bar? You bet I have. I look in the mirror and that craving goes away. I have a goal.

This is of course in the infant stages. I have not yet seen drastic weight loss or body composition change but I am hopeful it will happen. The important thing now is to maintain discipline and venture on.

Stay tuned for more on my keto journey…

Under The Influence

We are all “under the influence” at one time or another in life. I’m not referring to being under the influence of a substance like drugs or alcohol although I am sure some of us have been there also at one time or another. I’m more interested in the fact that we are under the influence of people that we come into contact with every day of our lives. What exactly is influence? The dictionary defines it as the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something, or the effect itself. So when we are influenced by someone be it good or bad we are defining our character to a certain extent.

Think for a moment how many people you have come into contact so far in your life and how many more that will continue to make contact in the future. By contact it could be someone you have known your whole life, a best friend, a teacher, someone you work with or the checker at a department store. The people you come into contact with whether in passing or on a deeper level can and often do have an influence on our lives.

Now I am not saying the worker at the department store or the stranger on the street that smiled at you have the same influence as say your parents that you were in contact with on a daily basis, but they all can have the ability to impact or change an individual’s character.

How many times do you suppose your character, integrity or morals have been changed or influenced by people you’ve come into contact with? I know mine has been influenced throughout my life many times. Some of those influences are good and some are not. I think back to teachers, coaches, coworkers, friends, and family. I’ve had a mix of good and bad influences in my life as I am sure you have as well. It is ours to decide what influences we are going to let shape our character as we go through life.

I heard someone once say that we are the average of the five people we hang out with most. This is why in my opinion, we need to be aware of the people we are associating with. Do they have similar values, goals, and interests? Are they people that are going to lift us up in positive ways or are they negative people who have little direction or goals? Those are important things because our subconscious will feed off of whatever energy we surround ourselves with and influence us whether we know it or not.

I can recall people in my life who have made a positive influence on me that I knowingly carry with me today. My parents influenced me of course but beyond that I had coaches, teachers and coworkers who made very positive influences on me whether I knew it at the time or not. Some people have had very negative influences on me throughout my life that I have had to fight to correct or risk going somewhere I didn’t want to be.

My wife has been such a great influence on me in the few short years we have been together. Going into our relationship I told her I was a work in progress. She took on the daunting task of “me”, and has made me a better man, husband and father. She has taught me how to be more positive, how to see the good, and how to enjoy life in general. For that I cannot thank her enough.

My best friend of over 30 years has influenced me greatly. We will debate occasionally who the bad influence was when we were back in school. I say him and he of course says me. We did some wild and crazy things and they shaped us throughout the years no doubt. We will both admit we did some pretty stupid things but we will both also admit we had fun and learned many things about life. About five years ago my best friend became an ordained pastor. Now the influence has changed greatly. He is still my same old buddy from 30 plus years ago that we go out drink some beers and have some laughs. But now he is also an inspiration to me to lead a life with God first and foremost, and be the best person I can be for my daughter, my wife and myself. My best friend married my wife and I and most recently baptized my daughter. That man has influenced me for over 30 years full circle. I wouldn’t be where I am today without him and we continually push each other to strive to be the best we can be at whatever we do.

I recently met a gentleman at a trade show who was displaying next to me. He was kind of quiet with a dry sense of humor. We would have some small talk here and there and that was about it. The second day we spoke a little more, I met his wife who was a very nice woman as well. The third and final day something was telling me there was much more to this couple than they let on just by some small comments made the first two days. He had made a comment to a couple of young kids walking through the exhibit hall. As they walked past ignoring our businesses he said, “Don’t do drugs”. They looked back like he was crazy, he smiled looked at me and we laughed. This was his dry humor so I thought. As it turns out later I learned more about this gentleman. He is an ex-drug addict, he did prison time, he is a man of God, he is an author of many books, he writes music, he paints, he does stand up comedy, he is a very successful business owner and he gives back to prisoners in some of the toughest prisons in the states by providing them with books and he brings them to know God. I emailed Brian after the show and I hope we stay in touch. He and his wife sent my daughter and I a few of his books as well. This man had a very inspirational influence on me and the way it happened I didn’t realize it until after the fact. He is the true meaning of pay it forward.

My point is, you never know who or when someone will influence you. It may take years or minutes, but it is something that you will carry for the rest of your life. I am thankful for the people that have come into my life. Some have stayed and some were only with me for a brief time whether it was my choice, theirs or God’s. They have all influenced me in one way or another, good or bad. Without them I would not be who I am today. Pay attention to the people in your life. They have the ability to mold you, shape you and teach you in a positive or negative manner. It is your choice who you associate with and how you want to be influenced. Learn what you can from the people you associate with and apply it to your life in the most positive way. We are all under the influence every day..

Are you hearing or are you listening?

Someone once said, “Hearing is through your ears, but listening is through your mind”. Again, as always a mind and body connection. Hearing for most people is natural unless you were born with a disability of some sort. The body or in this case the ears take in sound constantly throughout the day and night. Listening however is a different story all together. This is where the mind comes in. Listening is a skill that needs to be learned. I am definitely a work in progress with listening. My wife will confirm that.

I find myself hearing all sorts of things all day. Sometimes I choose not to listen while other times I should be listening to what someone has to say and I am either pre-occupied, or “hearing” other things around me. To listen takes focus and concentration. Guys, when your spouse comes in during the game and asks a question, and you look at her with a sill grin, you didn’t listen. Hell maybe you didn’t even hear her. Or when I try to speak to my daughter, I know she hears me but she isn’t listening. Sometimes there are some negative natural consequences when the listening part isn’t done. Something either took twice as long, or quite possibly something was wrecked or ruined. Not listening has it’s consequences for sure.

This hearing versus listening goes way deeper than the people we interact with or the audible words that are spoken. When you truly listen to what is going on around you or the words of someone speaking, you can truly be moved spiritually. I don’t know how many times I have seen a pastor give a sermon and I was hearing the words, and I thought I was listening but my actions when I left the church that day proved otherwise. Then there are the times I’m sitting there and think he is speaking directly to me and the words are burning into my soul. That is the kind of listening I need to do more often.

When I am in nature I hear the birds, the leaves, the cracking of sticks and all the other sounds out there. When I really listen to them I can almost reach a meditative state. I can focus on an individual bird chirping and wonder what he is trying to communicate. There are so many wonderful things in this world to listen to if we would just take the time and concentrate and take them all in.

It seems in this world today we have a tendency to take in all of the negative and the crap. I know I do at times. We hear it often but when you start listening to it, it affects your mood, your outlook, and breeds more negativity. This is the one time to say ok I hear all that is going on negative in this world, but you know what? I choose not to listen to it. I acknowledge it by hearing it but I will not listen to it and be influenced by it. As with anything that influences us, it can be positive or negative. It’s our choice.

So I am choosing to concentrate more and hone my listening skills. I will listen to the good stuff. I’m going to listen to how I can better myself and my family. I am going to listen to God and to nature. I am going to listen to those around me that desire my time and attention. I will listen to what matters. The rest I will just continue to hear.

So are you listening or are you just hearing? Take the time and think about it. I did and it opened my eyes to many opportunities and things I was missing. This is a one way trip through this world. I am going to take in as much as I can….So should you.

Lost Focus

Have you ever lost your focus? I certainly have. I could carry on and list my “reasons” for my lack of focus, but they are all crap reasons anyway. I’m not about to continue the pity party. The important thing is I have recognized it and I am taking control and doing something about it.

For the past nine months I have not exercised much, I haven’t written at all, and didn’t do a whole lot of healthy things with my diet. Usually people get into shape for the summer. Oh no, not me, I got out of shape for summer! I would sit down to write and nothing would come to me. I had some great ideas on being healthy, exercising and positive attitudes but I sure as hell wasn’t practicing it so I could not write about it. So I kept doing nothing. Until now! Things are finally becoming clear for me.

A short time ago, I woke up. Not out of bed, but out of my foggy non-focused unhealthy no give a shit lifestyle. I can’t pinpoint a reason for the great awakening, but I am going with it. I have started to get back into exercising on a daily basis. I have implemented the Ketogenic diet and have adapted well. I have lost 9 pounds in 3 weeks and am beginning to feel great. I will write more about that in the near future. I have cut down on my alcohol intake and getting a good night’s rest. This has all happened in a matter of a few weeks. I am really excited to see what the coming months bring.

Sounds easy huh? Not so fast. Getting up at 5:30am to work out or not eating that full plate of pasta is not an easy thing to adjust to overnight. It is a day at a time and hopefully as they say in 21 days I will have created a “good” habit. This will be a journey and will take time. There will be stumbles if not flat out fails I am sure. I always remember as long as I get back up I never fail. This post is probably more about being accountable to myself more than helping others. I will say however that if you don’t like what you see in the mirror, or don’t like the ingredients in that boxed food, or wake up feeling tired and plain crappy, then maybe you need to find your focus too.

We all lose our focus or motivation from time to time for different reasons. The important thing is to regain that focus and motivation. Use whatever you can, your physical condition, a loved one, a job, more income, whatever the case may be. It’s just you and me. It’s not easy but we will get there! More to come….

Why New Years Resolutions?

As the year is coming to a close I find myself thinking about a New Year Resolution. Am I going to eat better, give up alcohol, exercise more, be a better husband and dad… there are so many possibilities! After all, I always consider myself a work in progress. That’s when it hit me like a brick! Why did I wait until the end of the year to make a resolution? What was wrong with back in June? I wouldn’t have pissed away half a year right?

A resolution at the end of the year seems so hollow to me. How do we know we are ready to make a commitment to a resolution on a certain day? I feel you really need to want to change or do things differently, and it has nothing to do with the calendar. Instead of making resolutions why don’t we concentrate on creating the new habits or dropping the bad habits throughout the year. Maybe we procrastinate and find the new year a fresh start. Every day is a fresh start! Hell, sometimes every minute is a fresh start depending upon where you are in your journey.

So throughout the year maybe we acquired some bad habits. Those were easy weren’t they? It is so much easier to create a bad habit than it is to create a good habit. The reason is simple. It takes much more effort and mental toughness to create a new good habit like working out or eating right. Bad habits just happen without much effort. On the same token, eliminating that bad habit once acquired takes effort as well. Sometimes it seems we can never win against bad habits. It boils down to one simple statement. Once you control your mind, you can control your body. That only happens when we are ready, not on January 1st.

I recently read some statistics on gym memberships after New Years. They say 80% of the new gym members drop off the second week of February. That tells me they weren’t ready and January 1st wasn’t their day to start. Their mind wasn’t in it yet. So if January 1st isn’t the day when is the right time? When you are ready! We know when we are ready to change. Maybe we look in the mirror and think, wow, I packed on the weight! Or maybe we feel drained, with no energy and realize our diet is terrible. We cannot change any habits good or bad until we are truly ready to change.

So how do we eliminate bad habits and create new ones? Well it is easier said than done for sure. While both creating a new good habit and dropping a bad habit both take effort, I think if we can create a new one, the bad ones can take care of themselves and simply go away. A good example would be working out. Why do we want to spend an hour in the gym everyday working out to sculpt our bodies, and then eat a bunch of unhealthy food and negate all of those gains? After a while, we begin to realize our efforts are in vain for the most part. Now this is where it is decision time for us. Do we continue eating like crap or continue to work out and begin to eat right? This all depends on where you are at mentally, not what day of the year.

So we have decided we are ready for a change. How do we get there? Well, you get started that’s how. We do it today, not tomorrow, not next week, not January 1st. Now! You don’t try, you do whatever it takes. We need to write the change down, we need to list the steps we will use the get there, the obstacles we will encounter and what we will do to overcome them. We need to make ourselves accountable to someone for our goals. When you tell someone your plan, and they ask how its going. The last thing anyone ever wants to say is that we gave up. If your goal is to work out every morning make a trigger for yourself. Set out your workout clothes next to your bed so when you wake you see them. If your goal is to eat better, clean out the junk food, shop the outside aisles of the grocery store. Let set ourselves up for success.

They say it takes 21 days to create a habit. I tend to agree with that statistic. But what about getting rid of those bad habits? It takes 1 day at a time. It takes mental will power sometimes 1 minute at a time. I am willing to bet starting the new good habits will make dropping those bad ones much easier or at least less painful.

So make your resolution when you are ready. We need to monitor our progress and adjust as needed. I recently read a quote by Jim Stoppani and it said, “Don’t just MAKE a Resolution, BE the Resolution!”
So let’s go start a new habit, drop the bad ones, and work on what we want to work on. Let’s not wait until the end of the year, let’s do it right away and don’t waste any more time!

Happy New Year!